It Hurts So Good
by RubinAmigo
Summary: During a hunt the relationship between Dean and Cas suddenly starts to change and Sam is the first to figure out what is going on. Eventually Destiel. Spoilers throughout season 6
1. Chapter 1

**This fic is co-written with gambits princess who gave me the promt and we've been exchanging ideas for the plot ever since. The story is set somewhere in season six after Sam got his soul back, more specifics are not really necessary. Enjoy and please R&R :)**

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><p>The knife flew out of Dean's hand and clattered across the floor as the demon they had cornered flung Dean away from him. The older Winchester would have slammed into the next wall if Castiel hadn't chosen that moment to appear and so Dean slammed into him instead. The angel caught the hunter and held him tight in his arms to prevent him from falling due to his momentum.<p>

Dean grabbed the lapel of Cas' trench coat to steady himself while still hanging on to the angel's arms. He stared up into Cas' intense blue eyes, their faces were merely inches apart. Dean knew he should let go, there was a demon in the room with them, but he couldn't make himself move. He was so close to Cas, too close, but he couldn't move away. He was mesmerized by those deep blue eyes and the chapped but still soft looking lips of the angel.

It wasn't until they heard a yell and the sounds of the demon dying after having been stabbed by Sam that Cas broke the spell by pushing Dean back up fully on his feet and letting go of him. Dean was strangely torn about this. He wouldn't have minded just staring at his angel for a little longer but he was also afraid of where that might have led. They had been way to close. Not that that was something new, with Cas always invading his personal space, but this time had felt different somehow.

Cas looked around, taking in the wreckage of what at one time had been a house, the dead body on the floor across the room and Sam cleaning the knife on the dead man's clothes. "I think this is a bad time. I will come back another time," he stated and then vanished in a rush of wing beats.

This only added to Dean's confusion as relief and hurt rushed through him. Since he didn't understand these feelings at all he converted them into anger and frustration which made him lash out at Sam.

"Dammit Sam. We needed him alive. That was the point of this whole fucking trip," he yelled, glaring menacingly at his brother. Ever since Sam had gotten his soul back they'd been hunting demons trying to find Crowley's flunkies to get whatever information he had had about purgatory and possibly the Mother of All.

"I know that. But you weren't really helping me here, were you. Picked a hell of a time to get into a staring contest with Cas," Sam snapped back, annoyed by his brother. "Jerk," he added very quietly but Dean heard it.

"Bitch," the older hunter shot back, but he knew that Sam had a point and they stopped arguing and worked together to bury the body of the poor man who had been possessed.

After the clean-up they returned to their motel for the night. Dean couldn't stop wondering why Cas had appeared during their demon hunt. He hadn't said what he wanted and had just left again after they had shared this little moment that kept replaying in Dean's mind over and over.

Cas had returned to his favorite heaven when he had left the Winchesters. He had just needed some time away from this war he was fighting, had just needed some distraction. Following the Winchester brothers around, even though they didn't know he was there, had seemed like the perfect way to forget his own problems for a while.

But when that demon had flung Dean across the room and Cas had known Dean would get hurt if he hit the wall he'd just had to do something about it. Dean was his charge and he didn't want any harm to come to him. So he had caught him before the hunter could hit the wall. But Dean hadn't reacted the way the angel had expected him to.

Usually in a situation like that, namely a fight with any kind of monster, Dean would have gotten back on his feet and rejoined the action as soon as humanly possible. He would never leave Sam alone to deal with a monster if he had a choice.

But not this time and Castiel didn't understand that. He couldn't forget the look on Dean's face which he hadn't been able to interpret. Even though he had spent quite some time on Earth now and a lot of that time had been spent in Dean's company, humans still sometimes confused him. There had been something in Dean's eyes that he had never seen there before.

Dean had just held on to him and stared at him. But then it might all just have been surprise. Surprise at not hitting a brick wall as expected but being caught by an angel instead. Dean couldn't have known that Cas had been following him for a while so really surprise was probably all there was to Dean's reaction.

This reasoning should have made him feel better but without really knowing why, he wished nothing more than to be wrong about this. He felt empty inside, something he had never experienced before. Being here in his favorite heaven, watching the autistic man who inhabited it fly his kite, usually made him feel good and calm and happy.

Today he felt none of those things and it was very confusing. He didn't understand himself anymore. Under normal circumstances he would go to Dean and talk to him about it, let the hunter explain what was going on. But since it was Dean who had caused this confusion he couldn't do that this time.

He needed someone else he could ask and he knew just the right person. He would talk to Sam. As Dean's brother Sam would know what it all had meant, if anything at all. So Cas returned to the motel where the two hunters were staying and waited outside for one of them to leave the room so he could talk to Sam in private.

Finally the door opened and Sam came outside walking towards the Impala, keys in his hand. When he was almost at the car the door of the room opened again and Dean stuck his head out.

"Don't forget the pie," he called after his little brother and then quickly closed the door again before Sam's death glare could hit him full force.

Sam shook his head and got into the car. "I will not forget the pie, although I really should now," he muttered to himself glancing over at the now closed door once more. He could not believe he had just lost at rock-paper-scissors. He knew Dean always chose scissors, always. It was a testament of how exhausted he was that he had chosen paper today and was now on the food run.

He started the engine and pulled out of the motel parking lot, only to almost swerve into oncoming traffic when Cas suddenly appeared in the passenger seat next to him.

"Dammit Cas, don't scare people like that when they're driving. Dean might forgive me if I forget the pie…eventually, but if I wreck his baby he'll kill me," Sam called out still slightly shaking after regaining control of the car. Whether he was shaking from fear of almost dying in a traffic accident or fear of almost having to tell his brother he had totaled the car he wasn't sure. The outcome would be the same anyway.

"My apologies, Sam. I need to talk to you." the angel replied.

"Alright, what about?" Sam asked, curious to hear what Cas wanted.

"About Dean and about what happened earlier today."

"You mean when you caught Dean and then the two of you didn't lift a finger to help me trap that demon and I ended up killing it?" Sam didn't really need to ask this question. He didn't need verification of what exactly Cas was talking about but he did need to vent his anger a bit about what had happened.

"Exactly. The way Dean behaved was…odd."

"Odd?"

"Yes. He should have joined you in the fight again but he didn't. I don't understand why," Cas explained what his actual question was.

"Well, I don't know. Maybe he was just taken by surprise. I mean, you did show up kind of unexpected," Sam tried to make sense of Dean's behavior.

"I suppose so," Cas replied quietly, "but he kept staring at me in a way I don't understand."

"You two always stare at each other, no matter the situation. It's kinda your thing and nothing strange."

"I don't know. This felt different." After having said that Cas went quiet and seemed lost in thought. Sam had the feeling that he was missing something important but he couldn't quite put his finger on it so he decided to be quiet as well and just drive.

By the time he reached the diner Cas had vanished without another word and Sam stayed in the car in the parking lot for another few minutes to think about what the angel had told him. Yes, Dean's reaction had been odd, even if he'd been taken by surprise. That shouldn't have kept him away from a fight.

And he had seemed disappointed and almost hurt when Cas had left again without explaining why he had come. Similar to the reaction Cas had just had when Sam had dismissed the signs that… "Oh! My! Freakin'! God!" he exclaimed as the realization hit him that maybe there was more going on between his brother and the angel. Only they didn't know it yet.

After letting this thought sink in he finally got out of the car to get the food. When he was looking at the display of pies he suddenly had an interesting idea though. He would not get pie for Dean. No, instead he would get some angel food cake, just to see if he could get a reaction out of his brother. Oh, he was going to have so much fun.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you everyone for alerting, favoriting and reviewing this fic. gambits princess and I are having a lot of fun coming up with ideas for this story and writing it, but it's always good to know other people enjoy it as well. Here is chapter 2 :)  
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><p>When Sam returned to the motel room Dean had already showered and changed.<p>

"What took you so long? I'm starving here," he greeted his younger brother who plunked the bags of food down on the table and glared at him.

"You're welcome," Sam replied icily, while he took the food out of the bag and sat down heavily to finally eat. He was tired and his ungrateful jerk of a brother wasn't exactly helping with that condition. At least he was looking forward to dessert, hoping to have a little bit of fun then.

They ate in silence until the burgers, fries and salad were gone. Dean reached into the bag for the cake and then looked at it with a puzzled expression before turning to Sam.

"What the hell is this? Where is my freakin' pie?" he asked exasperated as he stared down at the few slices of soft yellow cake in something almost resembling disgust. When you expected a nice apple pie this stuff just didn't measure up.

"You don't have to eat it if you don't want to," Sam told him. "It's angel food cake, by the way. I thought it was more...adequate than pie given the circumstances."

Sam smirked then, thoroughly enjoying the confusion on Dean's face. As he had thought, his brother was absolutely clueless.

"Whatever. I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but dessert is dessert and I don't think there is enough here for two," Dean said at last after having gotten over the initial shock of there not being any pie tonight and he dug in.

Sam simply sighed and got up to finally take a well deserved shower. As much fun as this had been it would take a lot more to make Dean even think about his feelings for an actual angel.

The next day another opportunity to tease Dean or maybe even make him have a realization about Cas presented itself to him. They had spent the day looking for signs of demon activity and following different leads, trying to find another demon to capture.

"If you hadn't killed the last damn demon we wouldn't have to do this now," Dean said wearily as he went to the small fridge to grab a beer. It had been a long frustrating day and the brothers were both exhausted.

"If you had helped me instead of losing yourself in Cas' eyes I wouldn't have had to," Sam shot back and then turned on the TV to drown out a possible response from Dean. He zapped through the channels until he came across an episode of a vaguely familiar show which apparently only just started.

When Dean sat down next to Sam the opening credits began and the title of the show appeared on the screen. It was 'Touched by an angel' and Sam started laughing as he read it. Dean looked at him irritated by this sudden outburst.

"What's so funny?" he finally asked when his brother wouldn't stop laughing.

Sam took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself before he answered. "It's called 'Touched by an angel'," he explained and lightly slapped Dean on the arm, right where he knew the mark, which Cas had left, to be.

Dean still didn't really get it. "What's with all the angel references lately? It's not like it's a new development."

Sam buried his face in his palm at this and wondered how much more obvious he needed to get. But for the moment he leaned back, watched the show and every so often glanced at his older brother who apparently was still trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Well, at least he was thinking, Sam thought. That was something.

Dean honestly didn't understand what point Sam was trying to get across. First the cake, now the show. Okay, the show he got because he had been indeed 'touched by an angel'. Hard to deny that with that damn handprint as a constant reminder. But the rest he couldn't figure out. It was weird, even for Sammy.

While he thought this Dean's left hand had involuntarily moved up his right arm to cover the aforementioned handprint there. He only noticed this when he caught his brother's grin out of the corner of his eye and quickly dropped his hand again and wrapped it around his half empty beer bottle instead.

What the hell was going on? He had noticed this happening before once or twice, when he thought about the angel but had always chosen to ignore it. But now that Sam had noticed the gesture as well it'd be harder to ignore. Although that didn't mean he couldn't still try. He helped himself to another beer when the first one was empty while Sam turned off the TV and went to bed.

During the following days their fruitless attempts to find and capture a demon continued. Sam kept telling Dean that they should call Cas and ask him to help them but Dean insisted on trying alone first. And every fucking time Sam mentioned the angel's name he had to fight the urge to touch the mark on his arm again. That was definitely a new reaction and he didn't know what to make of it. But he knew that the longer he didn't see Cas the more he seemed to be thinking about him.

"Well, if you want to talk to him so badly then why don't you make the call?" Dean snapped at his brother after Sam had once again suggested they call Cas for help, for what felt like the hundredth's time.

"I've tried. He won't answer," Sam admitted meekly and gave his brother his best puppy dog eyes which Dean could never resist.

"Oh, alright," Dean sighed. "Castiel, could you please get your sweet feathery ass down here? We…," Dean didn't even get to finish when there suddenly was a flutter of wings in the room and Cas appeared in front of him, demonstrating once again that the concept of personal space was completely lost on him.

"…could use your angelic help," he said lamely as he slowly, almost reluctantly, took a step back.

"Hello, Dean. Sam," Cas greeted after a moment of silence. He didn't move but kept looking at Dean who had retreated further than he usually would when the angel intruded on his personal space. Sam looked back and forth between the two of them but didn't say anything. Not that Cas or Dean would have paid much attention to him anyway. They were too busy once again staring at each other.

"Uhm, well...," Dean finally managed to say to break the tension in the room. And also he had a feeling that Sam was about to suggest that he and Cas should get a room and although he almost thought that this held a certain appeal (and where the hell had that thought just come from?), he really didn't need to hear it out loud at the moment.

"Well...uhm..., like I said, we could use your help..."

"...finding one of Crowley's demons." a female voice finished for him.

Dean and the other two turned to see who had spoken and saw Meg standing by the door, flanked by two lowly demons.

"Mmh, hello hot stuff," she added when she saw Cas. Dean took a step towards her and noticed Sam doing the same.

"Give us one good reason why we shouldn't just kill you on the spot," he ground out. He really hated this bitch and their last encounter hadn't changed that. If anything he hated her more. And the way she was leering at Cas now didn't make things any better.

"Think you can?" she asked unimpressed. The Winchesters just glared at her.

"Oh, alright. We have a common goal I suppose. We both want to question one of Crowley's demons," she finally explained slowly walking through the motel room picking up Sam's books and notes only to put them back down completely out of order.

"With Crowley gone one would have expected all hell to break loose. But nothing has happened so clearly someone is still calling the shots. I want to know who it is."

"Why? Crowley is gone," Dean asked while Sam rescued the rest of his research from her hands.

"Curiosity?" she suggested. "Doesn't matter anyway, I can't find them. But if we were to combine our knowledge we might have a chance," she continued, now robbed of papers to play with, circling Dean and lightly trailing her hand across his stomach.

Dean didn't answer and simply slapped her hand away which only made her laugh, though she did step away from him a bit. Dean noticed that Cas had been following her movements very closely and felt a pang of something he couldn't really place at his watching Meg.

It got even worse when the demon deliberately walked towards Cas and circled him just as she had done with Dean. Only Cas didn't resist her touch.

"Think about it. I'll be back," she said once she had run her hand all the way around to Cas' back. She grinned directly at Dean and then she and her flunkies vanished as if it had all been a bad dream.

"We are not working with her again," Dean said after a moment. Neither Sam nor Cas said anything and even if they disagreed they wisely decided to save that argument for another time.

"Dammit, the bitch stole some of the copies I made," Sam suddenly cursed. "I'm gonna go back to the library and make new ones. I hadn't read them yet."

He casually caught the car keys that Dean threw at him and then quickly left the room. This left Dean and Cas alone and Dean all but glared at the angel, had been in fact doing that pretty much since Meg had left. Cas didn't know why Dean was so upset but he was willing to wait for the hunter to start explaining what was wrong.

Though when Dean asked, "Why did you kiss her?" he didn't immediately know how to answer because this questions was not what he had expected at all.


	3. Chapter 3

"Why did you kiss her?" Dean asked again when the angel didn't answer other than giving him a confused look with his trademark head tilt.

"But I didn't…," Cas finally started but was almost immediately interrupted by Dean.

"Not today. I meant that time at Crowley's monster prison," Dean quickly clarified.

"Oh, that. She kissed me first," Cas answered as if that was most natural thing in the world. When someone kissed you, you had to kiss them back. Dean needed a moment to process this but then a thought crossed his mind and before he could even start to analyze what the hell he was about to do he said it out loud.

"So, if I kissed you, would you kiss me back, too?" he asked with a cocky grin in place to hide his nervousness. And while he seemed calm and collected on the outside he was really trying to ignore the possibility that Cas could say no. Or that he could say yes. Dean wasn't really sure which answer was the preferable one at that moment.

"Dean, why do you ask this?" Cas simply said instead of answering though and Dean couldn't take it any longer. He had to know. So he didn't use words to reply to Cas' question, he used his lips. With a few quick steps he crossed the distance between them and then softly pressed his lips against Cas' in a chaste little kiss. He had planned to make it really quick but the kiss, small as it was, felt so good and Cas' lips felt so much softer than they looked that he lingered for a few more seconds before he slowly pulled away again.

Cas looked at him with an almost stunned expression for a beat, then quickly grabbed Dean by the shoulders and before the hunter knew what was happening he had his back to the wall and Cas' body was pressed flush against his. Without giving him much time to adjust to this sudden change in the situation Cas claimed Dean's mouth in a rough kiss and Dean willingly parted his lips to allow Cas' tongue to enter his mouth.

He was too surprised to do much more at first and so for a moment he just enjoyed Cas' tongue sliding against his and exploring his mouth, tracing his teeth and finding the roof of his mouth. Dean quickly shook the initial surprise though and finally started to take an active part in the kiss as well. He let his tongue play with Cas' for a moment before pushing a bit further and sliding it into Cas' mouth to claim him in the same way the he had claimed Dean before.

It felt like hours later when Cas finally broke away from Dean's mouth and took a step back, leaving a trembling and heavily panting Dean leaning against the wall to keep him upright. That kiss had been absolutely freaking amazing and strangely Dean had especially enjoyed that Cas had taken control of it, of him, almost manhandling him to get what he wanted.

"That was…nice. I have to go now," Cas suddenly said, jerking Dean from his thoughts just in time to see the angel vanish.

Dean suddenly felt cold and not only because Cas was no longer pressed against him. This he hadn't expected. Not that he started the day thinking he'd kiss an Angel of the Lord, no, but he had expected a little more from Cas now that it had happened. He still didn't even know if Cas kissing him like that, the same way he had kissed Meg, had been any more than just a reflexive reaction that he had learned from a porn movie.

He was still standing there, leaning against the wall where Cas had left him, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened and how he felt about it. That kiss had certainly been way more than merely 'nice'. It had been fucking amazing and he'd be damned if he wasn't a better kisser than that demon bitch Meg.

But nonetheless Cas had just disappeared without an explanation and Dean was left behind alone, confused and, to a degree, hurt. He briefly considered calling Cas back and demand to hear what was wrong, but he quickly dismissed the thought. He had a feeling the angel wouldn't listen anyway. Finally, when he thought his legs would support his weight again, he managed to push away from the wall and he went to the small fridge their room was thankfully equipped with and helped himself to a cold beer.

He took a swig from the bottle before sitting down on the edge of the bed, absentmindedly playing with the bottle in his hands. His elbows rested on his knees and he stared into the distance without really seeing anything. Every once in a while he drank some more beer, letting the bitter liquid slowly slide down his throat in an attempt to chase away the taste of Cas still lingering on his lips and on the tip of his tongue. That was how Sam found his older brother when he returned from the library a little while later with a new stack of papers for him to read.

"What's wrong? Where's Cas?" he carefully asked, wondering if maybe his second question actually answered his first. But that was probably too much to hope for.

"Nothing's wrong and Cas had to go." Dean replied shortly and then turned away from Sam, ignoring him completely for the rest of the night. Sam shrugged and started reading. If Dean didn't want to talk, fine. There was work to be done anyway and in his current mood Dean wouldn't be very helpful.

Cas didn't show up again during the next few days and Dean's mood didn't improve much. Sam started to suspect that his initial assessment of the situation might not have been that wrong after all. Something definitely had happened between his brother and Cas and he wished he knew what it was, because whatever it was hadn't worked out the way he had hoped. He had left them alone for a reason that day but this wasn't what he'd had in mind.

Sam really wanted to know what was going on but he was afraid the answer to that question might just be a punch in the face so he held back a little longer. Eventually he couldn't bear it anymore though.

"Dean, come on man. I know you. Something is wrong. Did something happen with Cas while I was gone the other day?"

Dean looked up at him then, green eyes hard and cold as ice. "Nothing happened, okay? He just… left."

The way he said that last part, how Dean's voice almost broke on that last word, confirmed what Sam had been thinking all along. Dean had apparently caught on to Sam's hints and had tried to take his relationship with Cas to a different level and he'd gotten shot down.

Before Sam had the chance to ask anything else both hunters heard the soft flutter of wings which signaled the arrival of an angel in the room. They both turned to look at Cas who had appeared on the other side of the room, nodded at them and then asked a question that made Dean stare at him in horror for a beat. Then he got up and quickly left the room without saying a word, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Has Meg been back yet?"

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><p><strong>So, whether you loved it or hated it, I've been told to take sole credit for the kiss. I do hope you liked it though, the story kind of took control of that part ;)<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry that it took a little longer to update. We were stuck on this chapter for a bit last, but it's all good now. Already got ideas for how to continue. I'll be visiting my family for a few days now though, so I don't know how much time I'll have to write. But I'll try and I'm glad that we finished this chapter before I leave, so you have at least a little more to read :)**

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><p>Dean didn't really go anywhere. He just went outside, got into the driver's seat of the Impala and just sat there with his head resting on his hands which were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. He wanted to get away but there was no getting away from an angel who could just follow you anywhere if he wanted. So he might as well stay there and see if Cas would come out to talk to him or not.<p>

He sat there for several minutes trying to figure out what went on in the angel's head. How could he kiss like that, then disappear for days and when he showed up again at first ask about Meg, the only other person he had ever kissed. Maybe he had liked kissing her better after all, maybe he had ruined his only shot with Cas, Dean thought. But before he got the chance to wallow in self-pity Sam came out of the room they shared and, upon seeing the Impala in the lot, came up to him and opened the door.

"He's gone. You can come back inside now," he told his brother and it was obvious that he was confused by Dean's strange behavior but he didn't say another thing and just walked back to the room. Dean sighed and then heaved himself out of the car to follow his brother.

"What did he want?" Dean wanted to know, not being able to make himself say the angel's name. He was sitting at the table again with his brother, just like before Cas had appeared.

"It was just business, Dean. He wanted to know whether we had a lead yet and whether Meg has come back to talk to us about her offer of joining forces," Sam summed up the reason for Cas' visit.

"Oh," was all Dean could say to this, feeling only slightly better that Cas had only been interested in business and not in Meg personally.

"I don't think she'll be coming back though. She probably just wanted to find out what we know and she did," Sam continued trying for the moment to ignore his brother's mood.

"So that's why she took your research," Dean stated, finally able again to focus on the problem with the demons instead of his own weird and apparently irrational jealousy.

"That'd be my guess," Sam agreed. "So, you wanna tell me what the hell happened earlier? Because this hunt will be damn difficult if you can't stay in the same room as Cas," he continued after a small break during which Dean had brought out the whiskey and poured himself a generous amount.

"Don't worry, Sam. It won't happen again," Dean assured his irritating little brother and downed the liquor all at once. He set the glass back down on the table with a satisfying bang, signaling Sam that this conversation was over. Sam understood the not-too-subtle hint and got out his laptop to do some work.

Dean decided he needed a change of scenery right that moment and grabbed the keys to the Impala to find a bar. The town was small so there weren't many places to choose from and he picked the one which had quite a few people around his own age standing in front of. The place was pretty full but it had a nice feel to it and the music was okay so he got a beer and then observed the other patrons, especially the female ones.

There were quite a few there that caught his eye but it was still early and Dean went to shoot some pool before making his decision and charming a girl for the night. Some extra cash was always welcome to the hunters and the other guys playing could hardly be called competition. Soon he had won quite a bit of money and thought it'd be smart to stop before he attracted too much attention.

With his winnings he went back to bar to buy a lonely pretty lady a drink. An attractive, petite woman with short dark curls who was sitting by herself seemed like a good place to start. She kept checking her watch and had an annoyed look on her face. Someone had apparently stood her up. Perfect, Dean thought, as he sat down next to her, bought her a drink and started talking to her. She seemed happy to have someone to talk to and when Dean suggested they should get out of there she agreed eagerly.

On their way to the parking lot she hung on to Dean's arm and pressed close to him, which he registered but didn't enjoy as much as he used to. Maybe he was getting too old for these kind of things, he thought, mentally shaking his head at himself. It was probably good that the car wasn't far away so he didn't have time for more thoughts like that and when the woman admired his baby all negative thoughts were forgotten and he smiled widely at her.

Suddenly she turned to face him, went up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his. Out of surprise he reacted and opened his mouth a bit, allowing her access. But once his brain caught up with what was happening he realized that he didn't feel a thing. He didn't even enjoy her mouth on his or her soft breasts pressing against his chest. After a few more seconds he felt like he absolutely couldn't stand her kissing him any longer and pushed her away a little more roughly than really necessary. But he was desperate to end this kiss at once.

She looked at him with an expression of surprise and confusion on her face. Also there seemed to be some hurt mixed in there as well.

"I'm sorry. I…I can't do this. I… should leave now," he stammered, stepped away from her and opened the driver's side of the Impala. The woman stood there looking at him, anger and disbelief fighting for dominance on her face. For a moment Dean thought she might slap him but then she just turned without saying another word and went back into the bar. Dean watched her until she disappeared inside, having a hard time himself to understand what had just happened. Then he got into his car and drove off into the night.

After only a few miles he stopped at a deserted parking lot and sat in the dark, gathering his courage for what he was about to do. Finally he got out of the car, hoping the cool night air would calm him and he made the call.

"Cas, are you listening? I think we really need to talk. Or maybe you don't but I do, so it'd be great if you could spare a minute and come down here."

The fluttering of wings and the subsequent appearance of the angel was so prompt that Dean awkwardly stumbled backwards in surprise. Castiel didn't seem to notice though or he just didn't mention it but he didn't react in any way, other than just staring at Dean expectantly, waiting for him to start talking.

"I'm listening," he finally said, when Dean remained silent. The hunter was still trying to figure out how to start saying what he wanted to say, almost frantically searching for the right words.

"So, uhm, sorry for just running out on you today. I don't know what I was thinking," he managed to apologize for his earlier behavior, though the second part of his statement wasn't entirely truthful.

"You didn't like me mentioning Meg," Cas stated bluntly and Dean could feel himself blushing at the realization that Cas had seen through his bullshit so easily. Good thing it was dark outside. He was embarrassed though and reacted by lashing out at the angel.

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to think when we kiss and you just fucking disappear for days? And when you show up again, the first thing you do is ask about her? That really was a dick move to let me know the kiss didn't mean anything," he yelled and tried to shove the angel away from him. But Cas didn't move an inch and Dean felt a bit crowded between him and the car.

"That… I never said that. I just came to see if I could be of help to you and your brother," Cas answered calmly but a little taken aback by Dean's accusation.

"Exactly. You don't even need to say anything, when you do things like that."

"I don't understand your problem," Castiel growled back, getting angry at Dean now. "I thought this job was top priority for you and yet you act like a child, running away when things don't go the way you want them. What were you doing tonight while Sam is probably doing research?" He glared at the hunter before him and Dean felt a bit guilty about that, which only made him angrier.

"I went to a bar to find a girl," he answered harshly. "I wanted to replace the memory of my last kiss."

"So, where is she?" Cas almost sneered, since Dean was obviously alone.

Dean stared at him for a moment, trying to decide how to answer that and finally settled on the truth. Anything else seemed too complicated right now and he was too agitated to come up with a plausible story.

"Oh, I found one. But when she kissed me it felt wrong, okay? You happy now?" he said very aggressively and tried to push against Cas' chest to get him to move away, no more successful then on his first attempt. This time though Cas caught his hands and then moved forwards pushing Dean back until he was trapped between his car and his angel, his hands still resting on Cas' chest, held there by the angel's hands and the weight of his body against him. Both men glared at each other, anger still shining brightly in their eyes.

"Yes, in fact I am," the angel finally replied, his voice still resembling a low growl. Then he quickly leaned forward to capture Dean's mouth in a rough and possessive kiss which was meant to erase all traces of the girl Dean had kissed earlier. Dean replied with a snarl and kissed him back just as roughly and with a bruising intensity. Their teeth clashed more than once but neither of them cared. This kiss was more of a fight for dominance which neither won but it served to mark the other as theirs.

After a few seconds they slowed down though and the kiss gentled as their anger subsided.

"Of course that kiss wasn't meaningless to me," Cas whispered against Dean's lips as they parted just enough to take a breath. "You are the most important being to me on this planet and no demon could ever take that place from you. Our bond is unique," he elaborated and slid his hand to Dean's arm until it lay on top of his, now shirt-covered, mark.

Dean shuddered slightly at that and initiated another kiss to show Cas just how glad he was to hear that. His hands were now no longer trapped and he trailed them over Cas' chest, exploring the body that was pressed so close to him. He really liked what he found and Cas seemed to enjoy it as well, if the way his grip on Dean's arm tightened was anything to go by. But just as he was getting ready to find a way for his hands to slip underneath the fabric of Cas' shirt, a few cars passed them and their lights reminded Dean of where exactly they were standing.

"We probably shouldn't stay here," Dean murmured and Cas pulled him back into another kiss before reluctantly letting go and they both got into the car to drive back to the motel.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the long wait, I hope it was worth it. This is the final chapter so once again thanks for everyone for sticking with this story and reviewing, alerting and favoriting. You're awesome :)**

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><p>The drive back to the motel was very quiet and passed quickly. Both of them were eager to be alone in a room, but only when they came through the door did they realize that they had completely forgotten about Sam. But when the younger hunter lifted his head to look at the door they both stopped dead in their tracks and for a moment didn't really know what to do.<p>

"Hey Sam. You're still up?" Dean asked, smiling sheepishly at his brother. He closed the door but he and Cas stayed close to it as if they were thinking about running should Sam make any kind of offending comment.

"Well, I guess you guys worked things out then," Sam commented, trying to hide a smile and returning his attention to his laptop. "Oh, by the way, Bobby called. He says he has a lead on some demons that we should check out."

"We'll go in the morning," Dean decided and then turned to look at the angel and see if he wanted to join them on their hunt, but Cas had already quietly left the Winchesters.

"Freakin' angels," Dean muttered disappointed and went straight to bed then, figuring that pretending to be asleep would at least keep Sam from asking unwanted questions. But when he woke in the morning the first thing he saw was Sam's questioning face. He groaned and turned to the other side but he knew he wouldn't be able to escape his little brother any longer.

"Dean…," Sam started but Dean immediately interrupted him, knowing exactly what Sam was going to ask.

"No. No, no, no." He wished he could leave it at that. "I don't know, okay? I don't know what the hell is going on. I don't know what I want or what he wants so please just stop asking me about it." And without giving his brother a chance to say anything in response he got up and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

When returned to the room, Sam had already packed their stuff into the car so they could leave right away to follow the lead Bobby had given them. When they stopped for lunch, only a couple of miles away from where the demons were supposed to hide, Sam carefully broached the subject of Cas again.

"So, do you think Cas would want to join us? He seemed pretty interested in Crowley's demons," he started, looking at Dean who only made a noncommittal noise but didn't say anything.

"Just tell him what we're doing, alright? Then he can decide if he wants to come," Sam finally said, slowly but surely getting annoyed by his brother's attitude and indecision concerning a certain angel. Dean glared at him but did what he had suggested. They both looked around expectantly but it wasn't until they were back in the car, ready to start driving again, that there was a flutter of wings and Cas appeared in the backseat.

"Dammit, Cas," Dean muttered as he and Sam jumped at the angel's sudden appearance. Cas didn't say anything; he just sat quietly in the back, looking out the window as Dean drove. Dean didn't say anything either. He wasn't sure whether he even wanted Cas there with them or whether he'd feel better if he'd just stayed away. It was a question he couldn't answer so he just turned up the music to drown out all troubling thoughts.

Sam noticed the tension in the car but after his conversation with Dean in the morning he had no idea what to do about that and when Dean played the music at top volume it was a clear sign that he didn't want to talk, so Sam didn't even try. It wasn't that much longer until they'd reach the place where some demons were probably hiding and the thrill of the hunt would hopefully relax all of them a bit.

When they reached the coordinates Bobby had given them they found a nondescript old barn in the middle of seemingly endless wasteland. There were no signs of life anywhere but all of them were experienced enough to not let the appearance of the place fool them. They parked some distance away and then walked carefully and quietly towards the barn.

"This is the right place. I can feel them," Cas told the brothers when they had almost reached the building. The three of them split up and then simultaneously entered the barn from three different sides. What they found inside was not exactly what they had expected to find though.

There were some demons in there alright. Just not the ones they were looking for. Or maybe one had been there, the one who was lying dead on the ground in a puddle of his own blood.

"You're little late boys. Missed all the fun," the only female demon told them with a smug grin. She was standing next to the body, wiping a bloody knife on the jacket of one of the demons around her.

"Meg," Dean spat as he recognized her. "Well, it isn't our fault that you're so impatient."

"What did he tell you?" Sam asked, hoping to get the information they were after from her.

"Nothing. He knew nothing," she said with obvious disappointment in her voice.

"Is that true?" Cas growled at her and suddenly he was there with her, holding her close in a tight embrace. Dean stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the scene before him and his brain refused to process what was happening. This had been so fast and unexpected that he had absolutely no idea what to make of it.

"Yes, it is true," Meg answered Cas defiantly and at the same time tried to squirm against him in a very suggestive move. But Cas just tightened his grip and fisted his right hand in her hair to keep her head from moving.

Meg looked into his eyes and suddenly her expression changed from sassy and playful to scared. Whatever she saw in the angel's eyes made her try to run and she threw her head back and black smoke started to billow out of her mouth. It didn't last long though, because Cas held his other hand over the smoke and forced it back into the body it had been occupying.

"What did he tell you?" Cas asked her again and Meg was now actually shaking in fear, having apparently only now realized what kind of creature she was dealing with.

"Nothing. He told us nothing," she told them again, her tone pleading and filled with fear and Dean could tell that she was so scared that she really was telling them the truth.

"Well, I suppose than we don't need you anymore," Cas coldly declared and he pressed his hand flat against her forehead, smiting the demon. When her lifeless body fell to the floor he looked up and his gaze found the other demons still in the barn with them.

"Shut your eyes!" he yelled at the Winchesters and then there was a blinding bright light. When Sam and Dean opened their eyes again all the demons that hadn't fled in time were dead as well.

"Damn," was all Dean could think of saying and he looked at the angel standing over Meg's body looking completely unperturbed.

"She wasn't of any use anymore," Cas justified his actions after a moment of silence between the three of them, thinking Dean's comment meant that he hadn't wanted Meg to die yet.

"No, I know. I would have killed her myself if you hadn't done it. I'm just…Never mind," he said stepping close to the angel, clapping a hand on his shoulder and smiling brightly. He was feeling giddy with relief and happiness now that Meg was dead. During the last few days he had experienced a roller coaster ride of emotions with Cas sending him all those confusing signals.

Even on this very hunt he'd gone from confused, from the sudden disappearance the night before, to annoyed, when Cas didn't say anything on the ride to the barn. Then he had been shocked when Cas had grabbed Meg and relieved beyond belief when he had smote the demon, proving to Dean without a doubt that he had no feelings for Meg at all.

"Why are you so happy?" Cas asked when Dean wouldn't stop grinning.

"You killed her! I thought you might kiss her again, but you killed her," Dean explained, still smiling.

"Of course. She was a demon. Why would I want to kiss her when I can kiss you?"

Dean didn't know what to reply but it didn't matter because Cas just pulled him closer and kissed him, for the moment oblivious of the death and destruction around them or of Sam watching them. Dean didn't seem to mind either and eagerly kissed his angel back until Sam audibly cleared his throat to remind them of his presence.

"Just stop the vanishing act from now on, okay? It's not fair when you just disappear from an uncomfortable situation and leave me to deal with it." Dean told him quietly as he pulled away and Cas nodded.

"I will try. I didn't realize it bothered you," he agreed.

"Well, it did. It felt like you were rejecting me," Dean admitted in barely more than a whisper. He thought about how much it had hurt every time Cas had just left without an explanation right after making out with him. He wasn't going to say that out loud though. He had already admitted more than he really felt comfortable with.

"I'm sorry," Cas said and looked Dean deep into the eyes, their staring getting so intense that Sam huffed and went outside to wait by the car, making sure to slam the door hard behind him to remind the pair that he was still there.

Eventually Dean and Cas managed to tear their gazes away from each other and they followed Sam outside. Dean tossed the keys to his little brother who caught them in surprise and stared wide-eyed when Dean got into the backseat with Cas. With one look the older Winchester made his brother understand that he would die a very slow and painful death should he ever mention this. Sam just gave a short amazed nod and then drove the three of them back to the motel.

"I'll ask for a separate room. Give you two a chance to… talk," he said and headed towards the office. Dean and Cas went into the room they had already rented, talking not being the first thing on their minds. Eventually they would have to go on another demon hunt again, but for this night none of that mattered, only the two of them did.


End file.
